by
Damien F. Mackey
Well, I saw the thing comin' out of the sky
It had a-one long horn and one big eye (Ooh!)
I
commenced to shakin' and I said, "Ooh-eee!
It looks like a purple people eater to me!"
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple
people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)
Well, he came down to Earth and he laid in a
tree
I said,
"Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me!"
I heard him say in a voice so gruff:
"I
wouldn't eat you 'cause you're so tough"
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple
people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater ….
I said,
"Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line?"
He said,
"It's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine
But that's not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band".
That is about as real, I
think, as Porphyry gets, joining a conga line of ancient fictitious composite
characters (e.g. philosophers), such as for instance:
Thales of Miletus
First philosopher, Thales, likely a Greek borrowing
from Joseph of Egypt
(3) First philosopher, Thales,
likely a Greek borrowing from Joseph of Egypt
Apollonius of
Tyana and Philo
Apollonius of Tyana, like Philo, a fiction
(3) Apollonius of Tyana, like
Philo, a fiction
Socrates
‘Socrates’ as a Prophet
Buddha
Buddha partly based on Moses
(3) Buddha partly based on Moses
and many, many more.
These are generally characters
about whom we read that phrase repeated ad nauseam: “Little is known
about …”.
In some cases these supposedly
ground-breaking thinkers wrote absolutely nothing, or, at least, have left us
nothing of any writings that they might have scribbled down.
Thales of Miletus | Biography & Facts | Britannica
“No writings by Thales
survive, and no contemporary sources exist. Thus, his achievements are
difficult to assess. Inclusion of his name in the canon of the legendary Seven
Wise Men led to his idealization, and numerous acts and sayings, many of them
no doubt spurious, were attributed to him, such as “Know thyself” and “Nothing
in excess”.”
apollonius of tyana little is known - Search
Philo of Alexandria (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
“It is impossible to give
precise dates for Philo’s birth. The consensus is that he lived between the end
of the first century BCE and the middle of the first century CE …”.
Ancient Fact File: Socrates — The Bristorian
“Little is known about [uh,
oh] his early life”.
“Since he never wrote anything
down, most of what we know about the ancient Greek philosopher is from the
writings of his students Plato and Xenophon. This has given rise to an issue
known as the Socratic Problem - contradicting accounts of Socrates’ personality
and life make it difficult to ascertain who he really was”.
Gautama Buddha - Encyclopedia of Buddhism
“Scholars are hesitant to make
unqualified claims about the historical facts of the Buddha's life. Most accept
that he lived, taught and founded a monastic order, but do not accept many of
the details contained in traditional biographies. …. In her biography of the
Buddha, Karen
Armstrong writes,
“It is obviously difficult, therefore, to write a biography of the Buddha that
meets modern criteria, because we have very little information that can be
considered historically sound ...”.”
Porphyry of Tyre (c. 234-305 AD, conventional
dating with double question marks) largely fits this same, vague typos:
Porphyry (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
“Little is known with
certainty about [uh, oh] his life, except what can be gleaned from his own
account of Plotinus’ life, the Life of Plotinus. There is an
account of his life in Eunapius’ Lives of Philosophers and Sophists but
this account clearly depends on the Life of Plotinus and has
little reliable to add”.
“Porphyry was a prolific
author who wrote about a whole range of topics. There are some sixty works
attributed to him, but most of them are now lost or survive in mere
fragments”. “In reality we do not know anything with
certainty about where he lived in the latter half of his life”.
Those Hadrianic
traces –
(remember that we are
comparing a real historical figure to a shadowy, fictional one)
Information here about Porphyry taken from:
Porphyry (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Considered randomly, there is:
-
a strong Tyre connection
“Porphyry … was
a Neoplatonist philosopher born in Tyre in Phoenicia”.
“… Porphyry …
a common name in Tyre, the
city of purple”.
Antiochus
‘Epiphanes’/Hadrian had such a close association with Tyre - “The emperor
Hadrian also awarded Tyre the title of metropolis, "mother city"” - that
I have identified him as Ezekiel’s:
The
Fallen King of Tyre
-
a cultural/political
connection with a Longinus, and Athens
“Porphyry … studied with Longinus in Athens …”.
Hadrian,
too, in his alter ego guise as Trajan:
Hadrianus
Traianus Caesar – Trajan transmutes to Hadrian
(9) Hadrianus
Traianus Caesar – Trajan transmutes to Hadrian
was
connected to a Longinus:
Legions of the Dacian Wars
- World History Encyclopedia
“In the
summer of 104 CE, Decebalus learned that Trajan was rebuilding his forces along
the Danube and wanted to know the emperor’s plans. Meeting with Trajan’s legate
in Dacia, Pompeius Longinus, to supposedly discuss further peace plans, the
king instead chose to hold Longinus as his prisoner”.
And,
regarding Hadrian and Athens:
Emperor Hadrian: The Roman
Visionary Who Transformed Athens - The Acropolis Of Athens
“Among Rome’s many emperors, Emperor Hadrian stands
out as a leader with an extraordinary appreciation for Greek culture. Unlike
his predecessors, who saw Athens as merely a provincial city within the vast
empire, Hadrian revitalized it, ensuring its legacy endured.
His love for Greek philosophy, art, and traditions led
him to transform Athens into a thriving cultural and intellectual hub once
again. Through his grand architectural projects, including the Olympieion,
Hadrian’s Library, and Hadrian’s Arch, Emperor Hadrian reshaped
Athens’ landscape, blending Roman imperial ambition with Greek
classical elegance.
-
a cultural connection with Rome
“Porphyry … studied with … Plotinus in Rome …”.
The emperor
Hadrian, as king Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’:
Time
to consider Hadrian, that ‘mirror-image’ of Antiochus Epiphanes, as also the
census emperor Augustus
“[Antiochus
Epiphanes] had been a hostage in Rome before he became king of Syria …” (I
Maccabees 1:10).
Hadrian | Biography &
Facts | Britannica
“The new
emperor remained at Rome for three years. ….
Returning to
the west coast in 124, he sailed to Athens and finally reached Rome again in 125. …. Hadrian
spent another three years in Rome, but in 128 he set forth again. After a visit
to North Africa, he went to Athens …”.
Instead of
the influence of a Plotinus, with Hadrian we have a favourably disposed empress,
Plotina: Hadrian | Biography &
Facts | Britannica
“The
greatest single political figure behind the emperor Trajan was the man who had
masterminded his elevation, Lucius Licinius Sura. Hadrian enjoyed Sura’s
favour, and, as long as he was alive, Hadrian prospered. Trajan’s wife, Plotina, seems also to have been
close to Sura and a partisan of Hadrian”.
-
interest in philosophy, an
influential thinker
“Porphyry … became a follower of the latter’s [Plotinus] version
of Platonism”.
“Porphyry wrote in just about every branch of learning
practiced at the time but only a portion of his large output is extant.
Porphyry was an influential thinker”.
Emperor Hadrian: Rome’s
Visionary Builder, Philosopher, and Heart | Bubbly Living
“[Hadrian’s]
journeys weren’t just political; they were philosophical quests. He
was deeply influenced by Stoic and Epicurean thought and was
known for writing poetry and engaging with scholars. His leadership style
blended intellect and introspection, curiosity and culture.
In Hadrian, Rome had not only an emperor but a thinker, whose governance echoed
his philosophical pursuits”.
-
called ‘Basileus’
“[Porphyry’s]
name was ‘Malcus’, ‘king’ in his native tongue, hence he became ‘Basileus’
(‘king’) in Greek.
Hadrian’s alter
ego,
Wikipedia
-
highly religious and superstitious (magic)
“In his
monumental study, La vie de Porphyre (1913), Bidez portrayed
the young Porphyry as someone prone to religion and superstition”.
“Porphyry did not reject magic outright … but he seems to
have restricted its efficacy to the sphere of nature and not to have regarded
it as a means to establish contact with the intelligible realm as philosophy
could do”.
From Emperor
and Author: The Writings of Julian ‘the Apostate’, p. 307 (edited by
Nicholas J. Baker-Brian, Shaun Tougher):
Hadrian
is teased as
a star–gazer who was forever prying into ineffable
mysteries (311d). La Bletterie was prompted to remark that
much the same could be said of Julian [the Apostate]: he and Hadrian
were both ‘full of zeal for idolatry’, ‘superstitious
[…] astrologers wanting to know everything, so constantly
inquisitive as to be accused of magic‘. And the likeness
did not end there: Julian, assuredly, ‘did not have the
infamous [homosexual] vices of Hadrian […], but he
had almost all his [other] faults and absurdities‘; both of
them were ‘fickle, obstinate, and vain of soul’….
Chapter 18: Hadrian (A.D.
117–138) | Ecclesiastical History
“The reign
of Hadrian presents a paradox. Admired as a cultured intellectual and brilliant
administrator, this emperor remains morally enigmatic and religiously elusive”.
Against Christianity
I had already, some time ago now, identified the Seleucid
(Greek) tyrant king, Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’, with the emperor Hadrian even
before reading of a Jewish legend according to which Hadrian was he who
presided over the martyrdom of the woman and her seven sons in 2 Maccabees 7 –
narrated in the text as king Antiochus.
“Nameless in 4 Maccabees, the mother is dubbed … Hannah …
in the rabbinic tradition …. The tyrant in the rabbinic versions, however, is
not Antiochus Epiphanes but Hadrian: “Hadrian came and seized upon a widow …”.”
Stephen D. Moore.
So, the Greek king Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’ was the
inveterate Grecophile - the supposedly Roman emperor - Hadrian.
Some of these Jewish legends can be real game changers!
I took the matter further by tentatively suggesting that
the martyred woman, traditionally known as Hannah, was the same as the widowed
prophetess Anna of Luke 2:36-38, who had seen the Christ Child, “and spoke
about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem”.
Such a vibrant connection is possible only when, as in my
greatly revised chronology, the era of Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’ and Judas
Maccabeus is collapsed into the period of the Nativity:
Merging the Maccabean with the Herodian Age
(7) Merging the
Maccabean with the Herodian Age
That dramatic re-casting of early Christianity now
enables for the Seleucid king Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’ to have been a persecutor
of those who had actually seen, or proclaimed, the Christ Child.
Thus we have the Christian martyrdoms of the emperor Hadrian,
the alter ego of Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’, having a Maccabean flavour:
Hadrianic patterns of martyrdom
(7) Hadrianic
patterns of martyrdom
Consider, for instance, the extraordinary account of
Saint Sophia and her children, in which “Antiochus” is here an official serving
the emperor Hadrian:
Saint Sophia
“An official named Antiochus denounced them
to the emperor Hadrian …
who ordered that they be brought to Rome.
Realizing that they would be taken
before the emperor, the holy virgins prayed
fervently to the Lord Jesus Christ,
asking that He give them the strength not to
fear torture and death.
When the holy virgins and their mother came
before the emperor,
everyone present was amazed at their
composure. They looked
as though they had been brought to some happy
festival,
rather than to torture”.
This story bears remarkable parallels to that
of the widow-martyr, Hannah,
in 2 and 4 Maccabees, especially in my revised
context according to which
Antiochus IV ‘Epiphanes’ was Hadrian:
Now it all gets really bizarre.
I rest my case.
The amorphous Porphyry is traditionally considered to
have been opposed to Christianity, but intellectually, and not to any
bloodthirsty degree:
Porphyry (Stanford
Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
“Against the Christians is perhaps Porphyry’s
best known title. Of this large work only some fragments have survived”.
“Somewhat disappointingly, perhaps, the fragments
from Against the Christians do not exhibit deep metaphysical
disagreements; they are mostly concerned with particular, non-philosophical
claims made in the Bible and by Christians that Porphyry finds incredible and
objectionable”.
Nothing as sadistic and violent as in the case of the people-eating
tyrant in purple, Antiochus ‘Epiphanes’/Hadrian, of whom Porphyry appears to be
just a vague shadow.

